How to feel safe when all we feel is stress & fear

Guess what? I’m writing a book. The entire process is embryonic, but the seed has been planted. (Not to keep you in suspense, but that’s as much as I can tell you.) I’m sharing this with you today, not for encouragement (even though I’ll happily take it!), but because my new writing mentor said something today that really landed for me: “What is one thing in your industry that everyone teaches, but you disagree with?”

For the record, I disagree with way more than one thing, ;) but for today, as a way to introduce this week’s new video, let’s start with the myth that you need to feel internal safety, and more importantly that you NEED TO FEEL READY, in order to start healing trauma.

*Side-bar to the above, because this might confuse some who saw a video I did not too long ago about the importance of finding safety and how we can improve our sense of it when we are solo. Here’s the important distinction: We need safety in our external environment, but we won’t have it internally at the start.

But, if our external world is technically safe, it’s possible that we won’t feel internally safe at the start, even if we have ALL THE THINGS in place in an attempt to make it feel safe. The biology just won’t believe it (due to past experiences) and it’ll think you are lying.

So the solution - don’t try to make things safe, but get better at being with the feelings of unsafety, and then go from there.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic, click over and watch.

Resources to complement this video:

► Stephen Porges
https://www.stephenporges.com/

► Polyvagal Theory. Explained.
   • The Polyvagal Theory. Explained.  

► Gabor Mate’s book, When The Body Says No
https://drgabormate.com/book/when-the...

► Titration Explained: Never rush trauma healing
   • Titration Explained: Never rush trauma hea...  

► Four ways to spark up our social engagement nervous system without socializing
   • Four ways to spark up our social engagemen...  

► Can I heal if I'm living in a toxic environment?
   • Can I heal if I'm living in a toxic enviro...  

► How to set healthy boundaries in a toxic relationship || Q&A 002
   • How to set healthy boundaries in a toxic r...  

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Please know that…

The statements on this YouTube channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.

My website is a wealth of free resources and information on how to start this work, so here it is one more time: https://irenelyon.com