Losing Yourself Trying To Be The Perfect Wife: How Good Women Get Lost In The Wrong Roles

Episode 2: Losing Yourself Trying To Be The Perfect Wife: How Good Women Get Lost In The Wrong Roles

“You’re not broken. You’re beginning.” — Hannah Hembree Bell

In this unfiltered conversation, Hannah sits down with her longtime friend and former client Amanda Diehl — a mom of two, twice divorced, and proof that sometimes the life you want is on the other side of the one that broke you.

Together they talk about how good women end up in hard marriages, what shame really feels like, and how to rebuild your identity when the roles of wife and mom stop being enough.

This is the episode every woman in “Divorceland” needs — whether you’re thinking about leaving, already in the thick of it, or trying to make sense of who you are after it’s over.

💬 What You’ll Hear

00:00 – The Manifesto
Stop saving your life for later. Hannah shares why she started Not Saving It for Later and introduces Amanda — friend, client, and fellow comeback story.

02:00 – The Church Girl & The Pastor’s Wife
Amanda’s first marriage at 21 — faith, family expectations, and how doing “everything right” can still go wrong.

06:00 – Identity in the Fire
When being “the good wife” and “the perfect mom” becomes your whole personality — and what happens when that crumbles.

12:00 – When You Think It’s Just a Rough Patch
What it looked like behind closed doors — the loneliness, the unspoken resentment, and the cultural script that said just stay and pray harder.

18:00 – Guilt, Shame, and the Wake-Up Call
Amanda breaks down the difference between guilt and shame, the grief of losing a person who’s still alive, and the moment she realized her kids needed a happy mom more than an intact home.

35:00 – The Second Marriage: Trying to “Fix” the Picture
Why she rushed into remarriage, ignored red flags, and learned the hard way that you can’t rebuild peace on top of unhealed pain.

57:00 – Let the Ground Rest
Amanda’s lesson in slowing down — how stillness and healing can feel terrifying when chaos was your normal.

1:07:00 – Know How You Like Your Eggs
On rediscovering identity: why every woman needs to know who she is — and what she wants — before choosing her next partner.

1:16:00 – Co-Parenting, Grace, and Gratitude
How healing her first marriage helped her forgive herself — and why she’s genuinely grateful for both divorces.

1:21:00 – Turning Pain into Purpose
How Amanda joined the Hembree Bell Law Firm team and now helps women walk the same hard road she did.

1:26:00 – Not Saving Joy for Later
Hannah and Amanda talk about learning to use the “good spoon” — not saving joy, peace, or happiness for someday.

💬 Mentioned in this Episode

*The Circle: Weekly live sessions with Hannah + the full My Confident Divorce course — myconfidentdivorce.com/circle
(https://myconfidentdivorce.com/circle)
OurFamilyWizard: The co-parenting app that keeps communication clean and court-ready — ourfamilywizard.com/HHB
(https://ourfamilywizard.com/HHB)
Hembree Bell Law Firm (Texas): hembreebell.com
(https://hembreebell.com)


🔗 Connect

Follow Hannah on Instagram & TikTok → @hannahhembreebell
(  / hannahhembreebell  )
Subscribe to the show → Not Saving It for Later: Guiding Women Through Divorce & Beyond

⚖️ Disclaimer

This podcast and its contents are for educational and inspirational purposes only and are not legal, medical, or mental health advice. If you’re in Texas and need legal guidance, consult a licensed attorney. If you’re in danger, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233).