Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma: A Therapist Explains the Couple’s Side

Can a relationship survive betrayal trauma and pornography withdrawal?

Many couples face this painful question when trust is broken. In this episode, we explore what partners actually go through when pornography use comes to light — from the loss of trust to the confusion, hyper-vigilance, and overwhelming emotions that follow.

We break down the common mistakes couples make in recovery, such as minimizing the impact, demanding every detail, or trying to manage a partner’s recovery for them. You’ll hear how these well-intentioned actions can backfire and what healthier alternatives look like.

Most importantly, we share practical tools for both sides: how betrayed partners can self-soothe and approach conversations with honesty and calm, and how addicted partners can practice accountability, transparency, and validation without making the pain worse. These strategies create space for true healing, not just damage control.
 
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Struggling with relationships, trauma, or addictions?
 
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EPISODE TIMESTAMPS:
 
00:00 - Intro
00:45 – Loss of trust, lies, and confusion after betrayal
03:20 – Gaslighting, secrecy, and the toll on partners
04:30 – Common mistakes couples make in recovery
06:30 – Sharing details: what helps vs what harms
07:40 – Hyper-vigilance, accountability, and transparency
09:20 – Why partners can’t manage recovery for the addict
11:20 – Practical advice: soft starts, honesty, and validation
13:20 – Closing takeaways and resources for healing
 
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