The Real Reason Men Fear Commitment | Indoda Ayikhali | Midday Connexion | Gagasi FM

Why do so many men struggle with commitment? In the first "Indoda Ayikhali" of the year, hosts DJ Sonic and Khaya Mthethwa are joined by mental health practitioner and cultural historian Ndabe Myeza to unpack the deep-seated reasons behind "gamophobia," the fear of commitment.

Ndabe Myeza argues that for men, this fear is not a simple choice but is often rooted in complex childhood trauma. He explains that if a child's caretakers were emotionally unavailable, or if love was not given freely, that child will grow up to struggle with commitment. The conversation also explores how past relationship traumas, such as repeated infidelity, can make it nearly impossible for a person to commit freely in the future.

For women wondering why they can't get a man to commit, Ndabe offers some direct and challenging advice. This is an essential conversation for anyone trying to understand the dynamics of modern relationships and the invisible wounds that shape them.

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Unpacking the fear of commitment.
01:36 - The definition of 'umjolo': Enjoying the moment, not building love.
02:16 - The link between childhood trauma and an inability to commit.
02:59 - Why men struggle more with commitment than women.
03:30 - The danger of not taking time to reflect between relationships.
04:00 - How experiencing infidelity in the past affects future commitment.
04:53 - Moving forward vs. moving on after a breakup.
05:35 - A woman's question: "Why won't he commit to me?"
06:16 - Ndabe's advice to women: "Do nothing for him."
07:10 - The problem of entering a relationship when you're not ready.

#FearOfCommitment #IndodaAyikhali #GagasiFM #RelationshipAdvice #ChildhoodTrauma #MentalHealth