Why Smart People Miss These Avoidant Red Flags | Therapists Tehrina & Joel

If you’ve ever explained away red flags because you wanted to believe in someone’s "potential," our free Meet Your Inner Team Assessment will help you identify the protective parts driving those patterns 👉 https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/687ebd...
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✨ In this video, licensed therapists Tehrina & Joel Terry explain why smart people—especially those with anxious attachment—so often miss obvious red flags in relationships. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and attachment research, they reveal how your intelligence can be recruited by protective parts to rationalize avoidant behaviors, turning anxiety into something that feels like love or “chemistry.”

You’ll learn how to:
🔷 Recognize when your intelligence is being used to justify avoidant red flags
🔷 Understand why anxious attachment can make red flags feel like green lights
🔷 Identify how your protective parts (Managers, Firefighters, Exiles) rationalize harmful patterns
🔷 Notice the physical warning signs from your nervous system that signal unsafe love
🔷 Break free from self-abandonment disguised as maturity or compassion
🔷 Shift into Self-leadership and make choices that honor your needs

This video is for anyone who’s ever thought, “I’m smart—how did I miss that?” It’s not that you’re broken—it’s that your attachment system has been trained to confuse familiar dysfunction with love.

If you’re ready to stop chasing unavailable partners and start building secure, fulfilling relationships, this video will give you the tools to see red flags clearly and trust yourself again.
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✨ Healing anxious attachment ✨ Creating secure relationships ✨ Breaking family cycles ✨
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🎁 Free Resources to Support Your Healing Journey:
💝 Meet Your Inner Team - Parts & Attachment Style Assessment: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/687ebd...
💝 Must Haves & Deal Breakers Guide: http://eepurl.com/iT8Kx-/
💝 Anxiety vs Intuition Guide: https://mailchi.mp/3f06e154ba94/free-...
💝 Conflict Repair Worksheet: https://mailchi.mp/ac7cf781d9e9/confl...
💝 From Testing to Trusting Guide: https://mailchi.mp/7409c99f8e5d/zp727...
💝 Boundaries & Attachment Styles Quiz: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/qui...
💝 Parenting & Attachment - Breaking the Pattern: https://mailchi.mp/aaffa367b10d/rq6qj...
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If you've ever felt too much, not enough, or like love is always just out of reach—we're here to help you heal, connect, and feel safe in your relationships again. 🩵
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🕒 Chapters:
00:00 Intro
01:51 When Parts Recruit Your Intelligence
03:31 When Attachment Anxiety Makes Red Flags Feel Like Green Flags
05:06 Your Intelligence Becomes a Tool for Self-Abandonment
07:25 Attachment Anxiety Overrides Logic
08:27 The Fantasy of "Potential"
09:44 Your Body Knows Before Your Mind Catches Up
11:48 Developing Self-Leadership With Your Parts
15:00 The Science Of How Intelligent People With Anxious Attachment Can Miss "Obvious" Red Flags
16:26 Let's Get To The Heart Of It

#RedFlags #IFS #Attachment #AvoidantAttachment #AnxiousAttachment #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipAdvice #InternalFamilySystems #EmotionalIntelligence #RelationshipRedFlags #RedFlagsInDating #RedFlagsInRelationships

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📌 Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or mental health advice. Always consult your own licensed therapist or healthcare provider for support related to your unique situation.

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