Its Complicated (Complicated and Confusing Relationships)

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Craig talks about relationships that are complicated.

It’s Complicated

Sometimes romantic relationships can be very complicated.

In fact, sometimes there are other things going on in our life that need to come before a romantic relationship.

You could have a serious health issue or mental health issue. Those things can take priority over your love life.


I have a great email today from a woman who’s in a situation like this, but before we get to that, I want to talk about the video I put out yesterday

My ex Vern and I broke up. I met him 15 years ago he was married and we ended up having an affair for about a year before his wife found out.

We ended things and eventually about 2 years later he did leave and got a divorce. He re-contacted me telling me he still loved me and thought of me and saw a future with me. We began dating again, but a few months in he told me he had a vasectomy and didn't want anymore kids. I was devastated I was only 28 at the time and wanted a family with him.


Needless to say we ending things again. I did meet a guy about 2 years later and we were casually dating when I found out I was pregnant, he left and I went through the pregnancy alone.

Vern had moved on as well. We stayed in contact over the past 10 years since he is friends with my family and we have mutual friends, he always told me he thought of me and wished things were different.

Well back in the fall him and his ex girlfriend of 8 years broke up, and we started talking again in December.

We both still had very strong feelings for each other and since we were both single we gave it another go around. Things were going great we started to talk about a future together and spent as much time together as possible up until about the end of March.


We were dating for about 3 months and he was having issues with getting his 19 year old daughter on board about us being back together. She blames me for her parents divorce.

I was having issues with my 6 year old son and his behavior at school. I then had a childhood friend pass away suddenly and I was grieving over him. Vern than confided in me the last weekend we spent together that he has been suffering with erectile dysfunction for the past 10 years and the only way he has been able to perform was with taking a pill. He completely broke down in front of me about it, he said he didn't feel like a man.


I felt awful for him, but I tried to reassure him that I loved him and that we could work this out. He is a smoker and doesn't eat properly and he wanted to start to change that and he asked me to help. He started to withdraw from me and seemed very depressed he said if I ever cheated on him he wouldn't recover. I didn't want him thinking that so I offered for him to come to a family function even though my son would be there. He freaked out and said its too soon and he's not ready. After a couple of days we went out to dinner and he started to say he needs some space and time and that things were moving to fast and he is just not ready for a relationship with me yet.

I got mad at first and then listened, I told him I want him to be happy and I understand and will respect his decision. He said he stills sees me as who he is going to be with, but he needs time alone.

So I've been going no contact for two months. He did text me about a month ago when he heard I had to go back to court again, and I waited a day but then thanked him for reaching out.

Well yesterday I found out one of his very close friends passed away in a tragic motorcycle accident. So I texted him to tell him I'm so sorry for his loss and that I was thinking of him and if he ever needed anything I was there for him. He responded right away with a thank you that he is very sad and it meant a lot I reached out.

I' m still going to continue no contact and wait to see if he reaches out again. But I'm feeling like no matter how many times we try this it just doesn't work out. I feel he has an avoidant attachment style, his dad left when he was very young and he lived with his grandparents for awhile when he was little. He still does not have a good relationship with his dad. Is there any hope for this relationship, or do I need to just let him go.