Don’t Say “That Didn’t Happen”

Your adult child remembers your parenting differently than you do. Maybe they say you were emotionally absent, critical, or explosive—and you know that’s not how it happened. So you defend yourself. You correct the details. You explain what really went on.

But here’s what actually happens: Every time you try to prove you’re right, you tell them that being right matters more to you than your relationship with them.

In this video, I walk through why your child’s memory doesn’t match yours, what’s really going on beneath the surface, and the one shift that changes everything. I’ll show you exactly what to say instead of defending yourself—and why that approach actually opens the door to reconnection.

In this video, you’ll learn:
• Why memory isn’t a recording—it’s shaped by emotional impact
• What your child is really telling you when they describe the past differently
• How to acknowledge their pain without admitting to things you didn’t do
• The difference between defending yourself and setting boundaries
• Why defensiveness pushes your child further away
• What real acknowledgment sounds like (with scripts you can use)
• The one question that matters more than anything else

If you’re dealing with estrangement or struggling to connect with your adult child, this is about understanding what they actually need from you—and what you can actually control.

Find more at DrToddTalks.com

I have an online course called Connection and Credibility that walks you through how to build strong, lasting relationships with your kids. If you’re not ready for the full course, I have articles, podcasts, and free resources you can use right away.

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