S04E05 - Leila Ng & Susan Chen - Peeling Back the Layers of the Inner Work Onion

Most people think love is about romance, balance, or even compromise. But Leila Ng — childbirth educator, doula, trauma-informed space holder — offers a different lens: love is work, and often the kind you’d rather avoid. It’s like peeling an onion. Layer by layer, you discover hurt, history, and vulnerability you didn’t know were still inside. Tears are guaranteed. But so is growth.

In this episode of Clean Your Toilet, Leila opens up about partnership, marriage, and the hidden labor of intimacy. She shares how emotional safety, not romance, is the oxygen of relationships — and how fights are rarely about what they seem. A complaint about dishes might really be about not feeling heard; a sigh at bedtime might mask years of unspoken need. Susan Chen listens and reflects on how triggers and venting are not signs of weakness, but survival strategies that demand respect.

Together, they map out how identity shifts within love. Leila speaks about how becoming a mother, a partner, and an entrepreneur blurred into one continuous negotiation: who am I when so much of me belongs to others? Susan highlights the parallels to leadership, where building trust and holding space requires the same patience as nurturing a family. The conversation is messy, tender, and unapologetically real.

Key questions emerge:

What does emotional safety actually look like in daily life?

How do we recognize venting not as complaint, but as a plea for connection?

When identity changes — as a parent, as a partner — how can love evolve alongside it?

Leila’s voice reminds us that the work of love is never finished, and never wasted. The onion is not there to punish you with tears; it’s there to help you uncover the flavors of who you really are.

🧼 Vulnerability is the clean water.
🚽 Pretending everything is fine is the drain.
💩 Dismissal, neglect, silence? That’s the clog.

Peel the layers. Cry the tears. Taste the truth.

ABOUT
🚽 Welcome to the Clean Your Toilet Podcast - yes, that’s the actual name, and no, it’s not about porcelain (only). Let’s be real: we’ve all got things we avoid. This podcast is where we talk about the messes we pretend aren’t there — physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Because spoiler alert: just like a neglected toilet, what you ignore doesn’t vanish, it festers.

Each season brings one speaker & multiple hosts together. Each from different walks of life with different expertise, meeting for the first time; for real, unscripted conversations about life. Filmed in a single sitting, we concentrate the essence of candor and spontaneity of live conversation.

We explore the habits, patterns, and inner gunk that quietly shape your outer life. We’re here for the uncomfortable truths, oddly satisfying metaphors, and yes, those sacred bathroom moments that somehow lead to spiritual insight and emotional release.

If you like what you see/hear, get in touch with us, and let's get those inner toilets clean!

Contact
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#CleanYourToiletPodcast #GetReal #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #MessyButWorthIt
#LoveAndIdentity #EmotionalSafety #InnerWorkOnion #Partnerships #TriggersAndTrust #LeilaNg #SusanChen #RelationshipsThatHeal