Wish I Knew Now (Official Audio)

Wish I Knew Now
Written by Caitelen Schneeberger & William Anderson

I wrote this as an exploration of longing for days when you "didn't know so much," or maybe hadn't made certain mistakes, experienced certain losses, or cared so much about things that don't matter in the long haul.

The idea of "knowing" or living life now in the way you did "back then" triggered a fun conversation between Dad and me and he contributed some thoughts which became lines in this song. At the time, creating this seemed more whimsical than anything and made for a great "B side" bonus track on the vinyl cut of Heart In Remission. But after Dad's sudden passing, it takes on depths that neither of us could have imagined at the time.

Now, the song holds weight for me as one of the last creative collaborations we had together. And it certainly rings true that in some ways I would give anything to go back to knowing life "before grief." But like the hopeful turn the song takes, my heart also resonates with the truth that not only can I never go back, but all of that life lived, all of those mistakes, those losses, have shaped me in beautiful ways too. I've been changed in ways that I can embrace because they have humbled me and brought me closer to Jesus. And with Jesus is where my Dad is right now.
Soli Deo Gloria.

Lyrics:

Wish I knew now what I knew then
Wish I could turn the world back round the sun again
But I can't send the river back around the bend
Wish I knew now what I knew then

Wish I could un-love some things I've loved
But even that wouldn't be enough
To put to rest all that wandering in my soul, til I
Learn to love the things You love

And like the rolling of the river
You're always singing over me
A song that calls me to remember
How you gave, and you gave, and you gave yourself for me

I'm learning to love the way you love

Credits:
Released January 17, 2026
Music & Lyrics- Caitelen Schneeberger, William Anderson
Mixing & engineering - Caitelen Schneeberger
Mastering - Jeremy McDonald
Caitelen Schneeberger - Vocals, Piano