Nearly 10 Years on BookTube: Why I Never Fit In (And Why I Don’t Care Anymore)

Nearly ten years on BookTube — and I still feel like the outsider.
In today’s video, I’m looking back at my entire journey on YouTube, from the very beginning: the BookTube Newbie Tag that wasn’t met with kindness, the channels I tried to grow, the communities I never quite fit into, and the imposter syndrome that never really left.
This isn’t a drama video.
This isn’t a “BookTube exposed” moment.
This is a tired, self-deprecating, honest reflection on a decade of making content and still feeling like I’m standing outside looking in.
I’m talking about:
The hostility I got from my very first BookTube video
Why I never cracked the “BookTube inner circle”
How my second channel collapsed
Losing friends who outgrew me
Being used as a stepping stone
The emotional side of being a small creator
Why the last 12 months changed everything
And why I no longer care about saying the quiet part out loud
If you’ve ever felt like the outsider in any online community… this one’s for you.
#BookTube #SmallBookTuber #HonestVideo #CreatorLife #YouTubeReflection #BookCommunity #ImposterSyndrome #bookishcontent
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