Red Christmas

Red Christmas

most Christmas' has been good
but one in particular I'd forget if I could

Verse
It's Christmas, one that no one should have
I'm seven, anticipating joy with my Dad
his sister, mom's brother, my cousin adored
our Family's sacred bond proven not so pure
First time my vision became a tunnel
Eyes closed yet forced to watch the funnel
Christmas was magic, a time to believe
A moment of hope we were to conceive
Out of all gifts that year, I recall just one
a stopwatch for me to track all the fun
in 1994's Christmas Brawl out of control
even then I knew, it was some next level cold
Suddenly, for some reason, Dad's voice got loud
My cousin and me, in first row seat as a crowd
I can't breathe, I'm suffocated by my shock
stupid stopwatch why won't it stop the fucking clock?
Unfolding before me like a scene from a show
why Christmas color is red, younger me know

Chorus
Red Christmas, bloodstained gifts on the floor
Childhood trauma left a crack at the core
Second's slow motion, felt like hours
The holiday forecast, heavy knuckle showers
Red Christmas, can not unsee what's been done
Family ties broke and no one fucking won
I'm just a kid, trying to make sense of this
I'm sorry but Christmas doesn't feel like I'd wish

Verse
Just so I can paint the proper picture for you all
Both my dad and uncle hockey players over 6 feet tall
Uncle's rage exploding like a storm unleashed
Dad's not holding back, punches in repeat
the sounds of impact bouncing off the walls
merciless pounding even after uncle falls
My cousin, just a toddler, I faintly hear her cries
Auntie's screaming "STOP! PLEASE! HE'S GOING TO DIE!"
Uncle's face drenched in blood gushing from his head
she wipes what she can with a pillow from their bed
Dad's blood also paints the canvas of this night gone awry
My two biggest idols, now feels like a lie
My Christmas grace robbed by a violent displace
once a safe place, now a twisted disgrace
Divided these days, by same bloodline we're interlaced
the joyin later days, a separated embrace
last thing I remember from the Christmas all went wrong
the gas station, a lollipop and the siren's sad song

Chorus
Red Christmas, bloodstained gifts on the floor
Childhood trauma left a crack at the core
Second's slow motion, felt like hours
The holiday forecast, heavy knuckle showers
Red Christmas, can not unsee what's been done
Family ties broke and no one fucking won
I'm just a kid, trying to make sense of this
I'm sorry but Christmas doesn't feel like I'd wish

7 year old me wanna scream out, and run away
37 year old me finally, found what words to say
7 year old me curled behind the counter alone
This Christmas is red, but worst is yet not told

Shortly after my cousin died in that home