How To End Criticism In Your Marriage | Dr. John Gottman's 4 Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse are some of the key things Dr. Gottman looks for when he’s trying to predict divorce.

No relationship is immune to the Four Horsemen. So, if I talk about one and you’re like, “Hey… that’s me… I do that.” there’s no reason to freak out.

The first of the Four Horsemen is Criticism.

Have you ever experienced something like this...

You're having a great time with your partner. You’re laughing and getting along. You’re feeling good… and then, out of the blue, you feel criticized.

When something like this happens, do you shut down?

Do you get angry?

Do you immediately turn off and change your behavior?

Do you get defensive?

Criticism is a super sneaky relationship killer.

Often it starts off with good intentions.

“I’m just going to let my partner know how they could improve so our relationship can be better!”

We expect our partner to show up to a conversation with a notepad and say, “Wow, thanks for letting me know I’m defective in all these ways! I’m going to go work on this. Maybe next week we can get together and you can tell me more things about me that make you miserable?”

Criticism kills your partner’s most attractive qualities. It shuts down their ability to feel confident, passionate, authentic, and emotionally available.

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#FourHorsemen #Criticism #JohnGottman #DrGottman
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