How to Cope with a Partner with a Phone Addiction

Turn your phone into a tool for connection, not distraction - try the Paired App free today: https://paired.go.link/iBpZW

Is your partner glued to their phone… and you’re starting to feel like the third wheel in your own relationship?

You’re not imagining it and you’re definitely not alone. With nearly 27% of people worldwide struggling with smartphone addiction, it’s becoming one of the most common (and most painful) relationship issues couples face today.

When your partner is constantly scrolling, checking notifications, or drifting into “phone world,” it can leave you feeling unseen, unimportant, and disconnected. Over time, this habit - known as 'phubbing' - quietly erodes trust, intimacy, and communication.

But the good news? You can break this pattern together, and you can rebuild connection without nagging, fighting, or tossing their phone out the window (tempting as that may be).

In this video, Aly — Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Head of Relationships at Paired — shares five therapist-backed strategies to help you handle your partner’s phone addiction in a way that strengthens your bond instead of creating more conflict.

💡 In this video, you’ll learn:

🟣 What smartphone addiction actually looks like (and when it is a problem)
🟣 Why constant scrolling leads to disconnection and conflict
🟣 How to talk about phone use without triggering defensiveness
🟣 The “I FEEL” framework that helps your partner truly hear you
🟣 Daily rituals that rebuild presence and intimacy
🟣 How to model the behavior you want — without resentment
🟣 Ways to turn phones into a tool for connection, not distance

📚 Video Chapters
00:00 Are You Competing with a Phone?
00:08 Understanding Smartphone Addiction
00:19 The Impact on Relationships
00:22 Common Reactions and Misconceptions
00:29 A Better Approach to Addressing the Issue
00:41 Meet Your Expert: Aly, Licensed Therapist
00:54 Recognizing Smartphone Addiction
01:17 The Red Flags of Addiction
01:40 The Concept of Fobbing
02:09 Solutions to Smartphone Addiction
02:26 Technique 1: Timing Your Conversation
03:12 Technique 2: Expressing Your Feelings
04:09 Technique 3: Creating Phone-Free Rituals
04:21 Personal Story: No Phones in the Bedroom
04:37 Adapting Rituals to Your Needs
05:08 Technique 4: Modeling Desired Behavior
06:03 Technique 5: Active Connection Over Passive Scrolling
06:39 Using Technology to Bond
07:00 Recap of the Five Strategies
07:45 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

🧠 Quick Takeaways (screenshot this!)

1️⃣ Timing matters. Don’t start the conversation while they’re scrolling — wait for a calm moment.
2️⃣ Use feelings, not accusations. “I feel invisible…” lands better than “You’re always on your phone.”
3️⃣ Phone-free rituals work. Even 20 minutes of intentional presence can reset your connection.
4️⃣ Lead by example. If you want them to unplug, start by doing the same.
5️⃣ Replace scrolling with bonding. Use your phones together in fun, intentional ways.

📲 Want your partner to actually be present with you again?

The Paired app helps couples reconnect with therapist-backed prompts, daily check-ins, and short activities that bring you closer, without forcing heavy conversations. Try it free and start rebuilding your bond today: https://paired.go.link/iBpZW

💬 Your Turn - What does your partner’s phone use make you feel — ignored, disconnected, or frustrated? Drop it in the comments. Aly will be answering questions in monthly Q&A sessions.

🔔 Subscribe for weekly therapist-backed tools to help you feel more connected, supported, and understood in your relationship.
📥 Download Paired: https://paired.go.link/iBpZW

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👩‍💼 Follow Aly: @relationshipswithaly