He repeatedly pressured me to carry his child | As soon as I became pregnant, he disappeared

Violet Nyaboke’s Journey: A Story of Pain, Resilience, and Grace

Violet Nyaboke was born in Kisii, Kenya, in a family of six. Her early life at home was stable, and she completed her primary education before joining Form One. While in Form One, she became pregnant, and her life took a dramatic turn. Her boyfriend at the time was in Form Four. She moved in with him, but his father did not accept her.

After completing Form Four, the boyfriend found a job and left Violet in the care of his mother. When he received his first salary, he invited her to live with him. However, Violet was experiencing severe nausea during her pregnancy and struggled to cook or eat certain foods. She asked to return to his mother’s house, but he refused and told her to go back to her own mother’s home.

Their relationship deteriorated, and during a heated argument, he physically assaulted her while she was five months pregnant. Neighbors intervened and helped her move out. Violet found refuge with a woman in town who taught her how to make and sell njugu (groundnuts), which became her source of income.

Eventually, she moved in with her sister and gave birth to a baby boy. Her sister called the child’s father to inform him of the birth, but he showed no interest. A week later, her sister had a disagreement with her husband, and they all returned to their mother’s home.

Life in the village was difficult. Violet spoke to one of her cousins and decided to move to Nairobi with her child. Since giving birth, she felt emotionally distant from her parents, as though their love had faded.

In Nairobi, she met another man and began living with him. Things were stable until her child turned three. The man got a job as a matatu tout and his behavior changed. One day, he threw Violet out of the house and told the neighbors that the child wasn’t his.

Violet continued to persevere. Her child eventually joined school. Later, she met another man who initially supported her by helping with school fees and household expenses. After a year and a half, they had a disagreement. While Violet was away, he packed up everything and left. He even took the child to a cyber café and paid for him to play games.

A neighbor called to inform her that the man was moving out. She rushed home on a bodaboda (motorbike taxi), only to find he was already gone. Violet recorded a video of her empty house and posted it on TikTok. A kind stranger saw it and donated a bed, mattress, and helped her resume selling boiled eggs. That person warned her never to take the man back.

Despite the warning, Violet and the man began talking again. He explained that he left because he didn’t want to raise a child who wasn’t biologically his. They reconciled and agreed that Violet should get pregnant.

One day, while preparing to visit her parents, Violet began feeling unwell. A pregnancy test confirmed she was expecting. Although she began noticing troubling behavior from him, she chose to ignore the red flags, hoping he would change.

Violet pleaded with him not to abandon her while she was pregnant. She asked that if he ever planned to leave, he should wait until she gave birth and take the child with him. Unfortunately, he left her again—this time while she was pregnant and unemployed. He took all his belongings and disappeared.

Violet shares how the Burundian man’s abandonment left her in deep emotional pain, to the point of contemplating ending her life and that of her child. But through God’s grace, she is still alive.