Why Getting Ghosted Hurts So Much

Why Getting Ghosted Hurts So Much

🧠Discover why rejection feels so devastating (blame your 200,000-year-old brain)

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TIMESTAMP
0:00 - Introduction
0:55 - Chapter 1: "The Rejection Paradox"
2:14 - Chapter 2: "The Rejection Reality Check"
3:30 - Chapter 3: "The Success Secret"
4:53 - Chapter 4: "The Rejection Reframe"
6:15 - Chapter 5: "The Ancient Wisdom"
7:43 - Chapter 6: "The Attachment Trap”
9:03 - Chapter 7: "The Inner Game"
10:30 - Chapter 8: "Reading The Room"
11:45 - Chapter 9: "The Rejection Challenge"
12:54 - Chapter 10: "Your Action Plan”

💡📚 Here's a curated list of books and research papers that delve deeper into the ideas explored in this video. Some of the links are affiliate links, which help support the channel if you decide to make a purchase.

BOOKS
1/ Bouncing Back from Rejection by Leslie Becker-Phelps
https://amzn.to/3JOpwbh
Explores compassionate self-awareness, attachment styles, and step-by-step methods for building resilience in the face of rejection.

2/ Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang
https://amzn.to/45ZpTs9
Details the author’s 100-day experiment deliberately seeking rejection to build resilience.

3/ Grit by Angela Duckworth
https://amzn.to/4mU0SEu
Examines how perseverance and resilience, not talent, drive long-term achievement, with numerous examples of famous figures who succeeded “because of” and not despite repeated rejection.

4/ Atomic Habits by James Clear
https://amzn.to/41KrGyE
Shows how small, sustained changes can foster emotional recovery and resilience after setbacks.

5/ Brave Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani
https://amzn.to/4gj151B
Encourages embracing failure and risk-taking, reframing perfectionism, and understanding that repeated “no’s” are vital for growth.

6/ The Dip by Seth Godin
https://amzn.to/3JVKPaT
Analyzes when persistence through difficulty leads to eventual success.

7/ The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
https://amzn.to/42jbmoJ
Daily meditations draw from Stoicism’s dichotomy of control and reframing adversity.

8/ A Guide to the Good Life by William B. Irvine
https://amzn.to/45VCJaK
Applies Stoic philosophy—especially the dichotomy of control and acceptance of external events—to everyday challenges.

9/ Rejection Rehab by Scott Allan
https://amzn.to/46tV9zr
Provides practical exercises for self-compassion, resilience, and techniques to heal emotionally after rejection.

10/ How to be a Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci
https://amzn.to/4pfBdYH
Applies Stoic principles to modern life with focus on rational action and emotional resilience.

RESEARCH PAPERS
1/ Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain by Ethan Kross et al.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles...
Uses fMRI to show that intense social rejection activates the same brain areas as physical pain, supporting the script’s claim that social pain is neurologically real and evolved for survival.

2/ Why Rejection Hurts by Naomi Eisenberger
https://www.edge.org/conversation/nao...
Describes evolutionary reasons why social rejection feels painful and overlaps with the physical pain system in the brain.

3/ Evolutionary Perspectives on Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection by Mark R. Leary & Catherine A. Cottrell
https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780...
Reviews how evolutionary mechanisms underlie emotional and behavioral reactions to social rejection and acceptance, including group survival.

4/ How does disgust regulate social rejection? a mini-review by John A. Terrizzi et al.
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/...
Examines evolutionary psychology and neural mechanisms underlying “social pain” and adaptive group behavior to rejection.

5/ Rejection Is Like Pain to the Brain by Mary Beckman et al.
https://www.science.org/content/artic...
Reports findings from brain imaging that social exclusion activates neural pain pathways similar to physical pain.

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