Ep 1. Disclosing the affair. What to say, and how to say it.

Healing from infidelity is possible, but it starts with a difficult conversation: disclosing that you've been unfaithful and facing your betrayal. There is no "hack" to make this easy. But the way you disclose your affair will determine whether you cause more damage or start a path toward healing and restoring trust.

This is the first episode of my 10-part series on Affair Recovery and Healing from Infidelity. I am Jacob Brown, a licensed couples therapist in Sausalito, California. I will walk you through the essential steps of disclosing an affair with honesty and compassion, helping you understand why full disclosure is the best strategy for moving forward.

In this video, you will learn:
• Disclosure vs. Discovery: Why it is critical that you speak first. Letting your partner "find out" on their own adds a layer of betrayal that makes recovery twice as hard.
• The "No Buts" Rule: How to take 100% responsibility. We discuss why you must avoid saying, "I did this but you were away..." and stop shifting blame onto the marriage.
• Radical Honesty: Why "shaving the truth" or minimizing details (like saying it was only one night when it was a year) will destroy your credibility later.
• Timing & Location: Why a public restaurant is a terrible place to talk, and why you must show up completely sober.
• Your Role in the Storm: How to sit with your partner's pain without trying to "calm them down" or minimize their feelings.

If you are asking, "Is there hope?"— the answer is yes. It is painful work, but couples can and do recover from an affair and heal from infidelity.
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Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction: Jacob Brown introduces the series
00:20 – The Reality: No easy way to disclose
00:58 – The Anxiety: Facing the fear
01:36 – Disclosure vs. Discovery: Why disclosure is better
02:40 – If They Already Know: Is there still hope?
02:55 – Logistics: Choosing the right time and place
04:34 – The "No Buts" Rule: Taking full responsibility
06:10 – Telling the Whole Story: Avoiding trickle-truth
08:55 – Your Role: Witnessing their pain
11:03 – What Happens Next: The path forward
12:45 – Conclusion & Next Steps
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Medical & Professional Disclaimer
This video is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or mental health services. Watching this video does not establish a therapist-client relationship with Jacob Brown. The content is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you or your partner are in crisis, experiencing a mental health emergency, or need immediate support, please contact a licensed local professional or call a crisis hotline immediately.
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Hashtags: #AffairRecovery #Infidelity #MarriageAdvice #CouplesTherapy #JacobBrownTherapy #HealingAfterBetrayal #RelationshipHelp #Honesty