Ep. 2: The Investigation Phase: Why they keep asking you the same questions over and over again.

Does it feel like an endless interrogation? If your partner is asking the same questions over and over, you’ve entered the 'Investigation Phase' of affair recovery. Its one of the most difficult parts of affair recovery. It can feel like an interrogation as you begin to heal from the trauma of infidelity.

In this video, Jacob Brown, a couples therapist in Sausalito, California, explains the "Questioning Phase" of healing from infidelity. While the unfaithful partner feels like they're on trial, the injured partner is overwhelmed by their trauma. They are desperately trying to rebuild their shattered sense of security.

In this episode, we cover:
• The Different Realities: Why the affair is "old news" to the unfaithful partner but an "atom bomb" for the injured spouse.
• The Trauma Loop: Understanding why betrayed partners get stuck in a "rinse and repeat" cycle of questioning to find safety.
• The Unfaithful Partner's Role: Your two essential jobs are to answer questions with patience and to "sit with the pain" as a witness, rather than trying to fix it immediately.
• Timeline for Recovery: Why rebuilding trust and calming the questions takes months, not days.

If you are the injured partner, give yourself compassion—you are doing your best in an impossibly difficult situation. If you are the unfaithful partner, learn how consistency and honesty will lay the foundation of a new marriage.

Watch the episode on making an effective apology: https://studio.youtube.com/video/HHlJ...
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Chapters
0:00 Introduction and episode overview
1:15 The different experiences of injured vs. unfaithful partners
3:11 Trauma response and the need to make sense of what happened
5:31 Choosing patience over irritation
7:12 The Role of the Unfaithful Partner in the Healing Process
8:30 Being present for their pain: Witnessing without fixing
9:51 Final advice and next steps
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