Healing Toxic Shame: 5 Steps to Finally Feel "Enough"

If you’ve watched my video on "What it means to be emotionally vulnerable," you know that vulnerability is the key to deep connection. But Shame is a massive wall that stands in the way.

In this video, I explain why so many high-achievers and caring people are plagued by Toxic Shame, the feeling of being "not enough". We often treat shame as a "feeling," but as a therapist, I see people experiencing it as a fact. Today, we are breaking down the "Truth About Shame"—where it comes from, how it sabotages our ability to be vulnerable and loved, and the 5 steps to finally let it go.

This video offers insights on healing from shame, emotional intimacy, and building emotional vulnerability.


🕒 Timestamps

0:00 – Introduction: What is shame?
0:39 – Brene Brown’s definition of shame
1:49 – Why do some people carry more shame?
3:17 – Childhood criticism and no-win situations
4:34 – How shame shows up in our lives
5:48 – Outperforming your shame
7:37 – The cycle of achievement and shame
8:57 – Five steps to let go of shame
9:50 – Step 1: Listen to the shame voice
10:56 – Step 2: What happened to us?
11:49 – Step 3: Self-compassion
13:19 – Step 4: Self-acceptance
14:22 – Step 5: Empathy and vulnerability
16:26 – Conclusion and further resources

🔗 Mentioned in this Video

Watch Part 1:    • What Does it Actually Mean to be Emotional...   — "What does it mean to be emotionally vulnerable?"

In this session, we explore:
Shame vs. Fact: Why we believe we are fundamentally flawed rather than just "feeling" bad.
The No-Win Origin: How childhood criticism and high responsibility create a shame-based identity.
The Vulnerability Barrier: Why shame makes opening up feel dangerous.
The Performance Trap: Why "doing more" never fixes the feeling of being "not enough".
The 5-Step Healing Process: A tactical guide from self-observation to empathy.

#EmotionalVulnerability
#Shame
#Therapy